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TAJNE/POUFNE

Umówmy się na początku, że Państwo tego felietonu nie przeczytają. Mogą w nim bowiem znajdować się informacje tak tajne, że za ich rozgłaszanie mogą Państwo powędrować na dwa lata na białe, nie… pardon: na skorpiony w kalifornijskiej Dolinie Śmierci. Jeśli jednak przeczytacie – to koniecznie wszystko zapomnijcie. Jeśli i to się nie uda: pod żadnym pozorem nie mówcie tego znajomym. Bo oni mogą to potem komuś powtórzyć – i też pojadą na skorpiony.

WCzc. Elżbieta Witek, Marszałkini Sejmu, nieoczekiwanie ogłosiła, że następne obrady będą na sali sejmowej i będą tajne; obecność obowiązkowa… Posłowie byli zaskoczeni, bo przywykli do brania udziału w obradach, leżąc we własnych łóżkach – a z drugiej strony zaciekawieni: czegoś takiego jeszcze nie było!

Więc ze Szczecina, Rzeszowa, Zielonej Góry po nocy jechali posłowie, by zdążyć na 9.00. Zdążyli. Musieli oddać teczki, torebki, telefony, komputery, tablety – a nawet zegarki. Po obszukaniu weszli na salę – i dowiedzieli się, że obrady przeniesione na 12.00. O 12.00 dowiedzieli się, że będą o 12.45. O 12.45 nic się nie działo – wreszcie o 13.05 zaczęło się!

Najpierw jeden minister (nazwiska nie zdradzę…) poskarżył się, że włamano Mu się na skrzynkę poczty elektronicznej – i jego prywatne maile latają teraz po całej Polsce. Po czym wyszedł na mównicę Specjalista od Cyber-Bezpieczeństwa.

Specjalista przez 40 minut tłumaczył, że to sprawka rosyjskich – a być może perskich albo chińskich – hackerów i ujawnienie, z kim sypia p. Minister jest w rzeczywistości właściwie wypowiedzeniem Polsce wojny. Pewnym zgrzytem było to, że skrzynka była umieszczona na portalu wp.pl – a Wirtualna Polska zapewniła, że nie było żadnego włamania, tylko żona ministra przez pomyłkę ujawniła adres i hasło!!!

Wszyscy poza „Zjednoczoną Prawicą” wyli z oburzenia – bo te „tajne informacje” zna każdy, kto przez trzy dni siedzi w internecie. Jedyną tajną informacją było to, że ten „wybitny specjalista” to kretyn – albo że wszystkich posłów uważa on za kretynów. Bo przecież przekonywał nas, że ten wyciek to sprawa diabolicznych hackerów – a z drugiej strony, że te wiadomości to fałszywki. Z czego wynika, że albo minister dla zmylenia hackerów trzymał w swojej skrzynce same fałszywe wiadomości – albo ruski wywiad to wszystko wymyślił (ale w takim razie, po co zadawał sobie trud włamywania się do tych skrzynek???!).

Kompromitacja „rządu” była całkowita. Wyszli na KOMPLETNYCH bęcwałów (którzy w dodatku służbowe wiadomości przechowują na powszechnie dostępnych serwerach). I myślałem, że na tym się skończy.

Niestety: szaleństwo się szerzy. W moim poselskim biurze w Warszawie pojawiło się dwóch policjantów, którzy musieli w trybie pilnym przekazać mi ważną wiadomość. Byłem w Otwocku – więc zaproponowałem, by przekazała mi ją policja z Otwocka. Po pięciu godzinach czekania przyjechali jednak ci sami policjanci z Warszawy i wręczyli mi… dwie kartki xero luzem, zawierające niesłychanie ważne informacje, bym zabezpieczał swoją pocztę jakimś długim hasłem i nikomu tego hasła nie zdradzał. Do tego było długopisem dopisane jakieś hasło: nie wiem, do czego, bo to nie było wyjaśnione!!!

Złodzieje mogą spokojnie kraść; policja jest zajęta wypełnianiem Ważnych Zadań Państwowych. A „tajne wiadomości” krążą po Polsce. Ku uciesze wszystkich.

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    1. Prawda jest taka, że Polska istnieje dziś wyłącznie dzięki życzliwości Niemiec. Nie mówię, że to dobrze. Wkurza mnie to. Ale taka jest po prostu prawda 🤷🏻‍♂️

    2. A są jakieś kraje, które istnieją dzięki rządowi? Myślałem, że to Pan Bóg stworzył świat a tym samym wszystkie kraje.

      1. Kraje i rządy stworzył szatan; ofiarowywał je Jezusowi jako swoja własność w ramach kuszenia.

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